The best self help books are those that make you feel like you’re getting information no one else has access to. Like your reading some sort of list of cheat codes. I did not feel this way with this one. It’s possible that this is because the book is quite old now and all these once “uncovered secrets” became common knowledge to the general public, but everything in the book sounds (at least to me) like common sense.
I feel like the book could’ve been a lot shorter than it really is. There is a lot of filler in the form of tedious, cheesy, outdated verbose examples (stories) that make the reading experience very annoying.
Notes
If you ask someone to do you a favour, give them a reason. You will be more successful this way.
Captainism: If the expert says it, it must be true
Contrast principle: affects the way we see the difference between 2 things that are presented one after another e.g. If we are talking to a beautiful woman at a cocktail party and are then joined by an unattractive one, the second woman will strike us as less attractive than she actually is.
Reciprocation: Do something small for someone with no warning. They will be far more likely to do something for you (even if it’s a much bigger request) e.g. free samples How to say no? Prevent its activation
Commitment and consistency: Ask for small commitments, and once complied with, ramp them up. How to say no? Tell them exactly what they’re doing.
Social proof: Monkey see, monkey do e.g. Bartenders salt their tip jars with a few dollar bills at the beginning of the evening to simulate tips left by prior customers and giving the impression that tipping with folding money is proper barroom behaviour We seem to assume if a lot of people are doing the same thing, they must know something we don’t How to say no? Disconnect your “automatic pilot”: Be alert to counterfeit social evidence
Liking: The halo effect. We automatically assign to good-looking individuals such favorable traits as talent, kindness, honesty, and intelligence Also: similarity e.g. "… customers were more likely to buy insurance when the salesperson was like them in areas such as age, religion, politics, and cigarette-smoking habits, compliments, contact and cooperation, conditioning and association e.g. There is a natural tendency to dislike a person who brings us unpleasant information, even when they didn’t cause the bad news. How to say no? Concentrate on the effect rather than the cause e.g. focus on the merits of the car deal rather than the salesman
Luncheon technique: People become fonder of the people and things they experience while they’re eating
Authority: We naturally obey people in positions of authority e.g. doctors, professors How to say no? Remove the element of surprise. Also ask yourself “Is this authority truly an expert?” and “How truthful can we expect the expert to be here?”
Scarcity: People seem to be more motivated by the thought of losing something than by the thought of gaining something of equal value. Not only do we want the same item more when it is scarce, we want it more when we are in competition for it. How to say no? Calm yourself and regain a rational perspective. Ask yourself why you wan the item under consideration.
- If you want it to own it, then use its availability to gauge how much we want to spend for it.
- If you want it for its function (drive, drink, eat etc.), remember that the item will function equally well whether scarce or plentiful. Scarce cookies don’t taste any better!
Don’t buy any product in an “unrehearsed-interview” ad, send the manufacturers letters detailing the reason and suggest that they dismiss their ad agency. Refuse to watch TV that uses canned laughter Retaliate (boycott, threaten, confront, tirade…)